Cancer

Are you sure?
I have no doubt.
Why?
I don’t know.

It’s so not fair.
What have I done,
To deserve this?
I can’t cry now. I have to be strong.

Where is my child?
Why is she not here?
I want to hold her.
Tell her I’m still here.

Why have you come?
I don’t want you to see me.
Not like this,
With my hair all gone.

Do you see the scar?
Tell me it’s almost gone.
I can’t face what it tells me.
That it isn’t all gone.

I feel so tired.
Will she understand?
Will she be okay,
Without holding my hand?

Don’t let me see,
The sorrow you feel so deep.
Don’t let me see,
The fear we both feel beneath.

I will be alright.
I will be alright.
I will be alright.
I will be alright.

No, it can’t be!
The time is not right!
I have so much more to do!
Don’t close the lid tight!

Take me from this darkness.
I need to see the light.
I need to know she will be alright.
Where is she? Does she cry at night?

I would hold her hand,
Just one more night.

Copyright 2013 Kate Spyder (25Sept2013 7:57 PM PT)

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rex
    Sep 25, 2013 @ 20:20:18

    So solemn that it is difficult to read.

    Reply

    • Kate Spyder
      Sep 25, 2013 @ 20:33:40

      Rex, thank you for stopping by and reading. It was amazing how easily the words flowed as I wrote it but the emotions it stirred were quite difficult to feel. As much as I want to stir other’s emotions in my writing, this one is one I wish no one had to feel.

      Reply

      • Rex
        Sep 25, 2013 @ 20:43:23

        No no. It is good to share sometimes. What is the worth of humanity if we did not share? We might as well be rocks. Only, I believe we should all individually know our limits when it comes to sharing our grief. *With you in spirit*

      • Kate Spyder
        Sep 25, 2013 @ 20:50:54

        This poem came from a well of emotions, both parents dying from cancer, and imagining what it might be like if I were diagnosed with cancer and my young daughter having to live through it with me. It was inspired by learning recently that a close friend’s father is ill with cancer and the feelings it reawakened within me. I thank you for your words of caring and support, they are greatly appreciated.

  2. Ryn Cricket
    Sep 25, 2013 @ 21:10:23

    This was really, really hard to read, and took my breath away, but I appreciate your ability to get inside.

    Reply

    • Kate Spyder
      Sep 25, 2013 @ 21:19:15

      I thought of you when I wrote it. I knew it would be hard for you. But I had to write it. I think you know how it feels when a writer just HAS to write. This may sound weird but I felt you, myself and others speaking to me as I wrote it. (hug)

      Reply

  3. Cubby
    Sep 26, 2013 @ 05:17:03

    Like others have said, this was hard to read because of the simple honesty and raw power of your words. But that is exactly what makes it so amazing. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply

    • Kate Spyder
      Sep 26, 2013 @ 07:16:01

      Cubby, thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Your thoughts as are the thoughts of others mean a lot to me. It is my hope that anyone touched by my words feels my arms wrap around them giving them a warm hug. It is what I felt from those I love as I wrote it.

      Reply

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