Broken: The Voice That Sings

Part 1, Broken: The Beginning of the End

She did not sleep for the stars were not meant for her to rest but to gaze upon their beauty from beginning to the end. She didn’t care that there was pain. It vibrated. It sang to her. It wept for her until she had no more tears.

There wasn’t a sound she could hear not with any clarity. The sounds were all muffled by the screams in her head.

The joyousness that was her soul banged its fists upon the walls that she had built to contain it. She wanted to remember the joy not lose it forever in the miasma of her chilling soul. Trapped it was but trapped so she could not reach it but only gaze upon it and remember it had once been there and a part of her.

What did she know but the sum of all her experiences? The sum was more than its parts and yet less than the whole that was she. She could look at each experience, divide each experience into each of its parts, and divide the parts into infinity. And still she could not find the source of the message behind the feelings being said.

She walked in her mind and cursed in her soul, the sadness swamped and compelled an end they pulled out of her reach. They didn’t want her, not now, at least they said. Why they would not reveal and left for her to go unsaid.

She ignored the pain that screamed in her brain. The hands that pulled and prodded her. The voices that would not leave her. She ignored them all as she watched from afar. She looked upon herself a shade of what she once was and saw a tear roll down unnoticed.

Their energies were boundless. If not for them she would be gone whether those who had rejected her would accept her or not. This wasn’t what was supposed to be. And yet it bled with her very essence the essence that had been her from before time began.

She now understood, her life was to be, both pain and love never ending.

If she proved strong enough to grow within the pain received, walking away with joy abounding and life worth loving, her world would be forever free to receive yet again, the challenge.

They fought hard to save her, at first it had been just the two. She had seen them coming down the mountain road. Had almost turned around before seeing the signs put in their path. But they saw and now they fought to save a soul they never met.

She watched as they fought, seeing connections grow, at first just a shimmering fine web as if strung by a tiny spider between the three. He tried to find her but she hid too well, until he found the overflowing well. He sipped the waters of her love. Now she could not hide. He saw through the walls, the barriers she threw up, she ran and ran to no avail. Each turn she made, each door she opened, each room she entered he was there. Whispering. Pleading. Expressing his love.

When she looked again, hard burning chains of iron connected her to them, no amount of pulling, yanking, cutting or torching would destroy the chains connecting. They were not cold chains of steel, nor confining painful things. They flowed and ebbed, stretched and weaved fed by the wells of love.

She thought she could not bear to feel love again, to feel anything again. She never thought love could penetrate the searing pain that was her soul. She had been wrong. As she watched, the love flowing down the lines of connection began a process she had never thought she would see again. She resisted it but she was too weak to fight it for long. The voice that was her soul told her to surrender, to welcome the healing. She heard but did not heed. She listened but did not surrender. She felt and screamed in agony.

His voice sang to her, and she resisted. Their hands warmed her and she resisted. They were two who flowed to her as one and she cried for them to leave her.

Their strength was stronger than hers. They stayed regardless of her pleas. Their whispers told her they would never leave her. Their love was strong enough to carry her until she was strong enough to heal and still they would remain. Their hands caressed her no matter how far she pulled away. Their voices touched her regardless of how deep she descended. The one always found her and pulled her back surrounding her in their love.

She looked at her wells, one overflowing, the other having been empty but now slowly, ever slowly beginning to fill. She wanted to dump it out, to refuse what she saw, to know these two had found her well and sought to fill it. She had given up, this was supposed to have been the end. Not another beginning.

She drew back again and watched, now there were more. They worked and worked to extract her. The twisted metal being twisted and cut more until nothing trapped the body that had been she.

As they lifted her free, she gazed upon her body, saw it broken and bleeding, almost lifeless. Only the still pumping blood seeping from her wounds gave indication of life where all else looked lifeless.

One of the two stood and watched, the other knelt at her head, his voice always singing to her soul, binding her to him and then to them both. The connection between the two fed the connection between the three reinforcing the connection to her when it would start to weaken. How was this possible when she resisted with all her being? Who were they? Why were they so persistent?

She flew with her body, the one traveling with her, the other taking the mountain road. She sensed them both, no matter how far distant, the one by her side keeping the connection strong between all three.

She could no longer resist the darkness. It called her as she watched others join the ones who had taken her from the mountain and brought her to the place to be repaired. They wheeled her in a room the pain insignificant to the voice that sang to her soul to rest so the doctors could do their work.

She welcomed the darkness, praying it would swallow her forever.

©2013 Kate Spyder

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