I feel like a baby beginning to walk again. That’s not bad mind you, just a bit disconcerting at times. I’ve been reading a blog “Earth Connections”. It is like one of those blessed books you find where every page, every sentence, every word seems to have been written specifically for you.
A day or so before I found “Earth Connections” I wrote the following, which I never finished, it was like it was waiting for something else.
It isn’t the dew on the grass that makes me feel this way. It isn’t the sun on the leaves either, nor their new colors before they tumble and fall to the damp grass.
I feel confused, and also excited. I feel blessed but also possibly cursed. I feel the strands of the nether reaching out to pluck at my happiness telling me it isn’t at all what it seems.
Maybe love is supposed to be quite ethereal. Or maybe it is just that I’m not really of this world but other worldly. What am I to think?
I don’t believe in God as other people do. I gave that up many years ago for it held a crap load of contradictions, and predispositions. I did not, I could not believe as they do, as the organized religions do. This is not me, and never has been no matter how hard I tried to bend, and mold myself into whatever form I could.
I tried bending and molding myself into that form for years and ignored the voice within. I am however finding it amazing how much I have come to understand intuitively even through all the years of trying to bury it deep underneath the organized church teachings.
So now I feel like a baby who is first learning to walk, looking out over the landscape and realizing nothing is outside of my reach, but not really knowing where to place my first step. Intuition tells me to focus inward to get in touch with my heart and spirit and all else will flow.
I’m not afraid of this new world that I can manifest. In fact I feel relieved. There is someone out there who has confirmed what I’ve intuitively felt my whole life.
Kate Spyder 