Opening and Closing Doorways… which do you want open?

This weekend has been a reminder to me. A reminder to be true to myself. To not let the superficial interfere with allowing life to flow harmoniously. To not allow insecurity to play a role in deceiving myself. But mostly to not run away from anything that awakens me to what lies dormant within me.

It is interesting when one changes their focus how doorways will open and others close. I made a leap in my own observations realizing the focus I had was not clear, was not defined enough in detail and thus was allowing distractions or should I say detours from my intended course.

Sometimes focusing on a point too far in the future will allow for too many possibilities that in the end will steer us off course. This is what was happening to me.

When I realized this, I asked myself how I could correct my course and ultimately attract that which I ultimately seek. As in programming a super computer, one doesn’t sit down and write the program in one long uninterrupted session. Though a genius probably could, it isn’t usually done and a genius probably knows it is better to do so in incremental steps.

This is the conclusion I came to. Instead of focusing on the end result, as ‘the result’ which was not completely clear anyway because of too many unknowns, I switched my focus to visualize the first step in the process. Then to alter that visualization as progress is achieved to reach the next step in the process all the while keeping the idea of the destination as a reference point while allowing flexibility for change in the destination if what is learned along the journey brings one the knowledge that the original destination is no longer desirable.

What I realized in doing so is the end is not really an end at all but an ongoing process that brings us much more than we were ever able to visualize when we were focused on the end result.

A friend told me, “the journey is more important than the destination”.

Though I had already taken the steps I did to alter my focus, his words reminded me, that my altered course was now about enjoying the journey and in fact I have no doubt if I had not altered my course, the door to meeting him would have remained closed.

Our choices open some doors and closes other doors. If the right doors are not opening then maybe we are not making the right choices.

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Bravery, Choices and Evolution

I’ve heard some people say I’m brave. Brave to have taken the steps I have throughout my life that has taken me to where I am today. I have a friend that has been told the same by friends and acquaintances. We have talked about the thought of being categorized as brave, reviewing what we have done and why we have done the things we have that others classify as brave. We both look at it, not as brave but as what we had to do. I’ve often looked at my life and thought I’ve just gone with the flow, whatever came my way I just jumped on and rode until another train came and took me another direction. I still feel that way sometimes although I do know I had to choose to take that train or to not take it. The core of all my decisions has always been to try and improve my life.

I’m sure everyone seeks to improve their lives in the decisions they make. I’ve often wondered what makes two people choose two completely different choices when faced with the same circumstances. I know past experience weighs in a lot on decision making and I wonder how much others try to look forward to imagine what each option might develop into. I know I have done both in most if not all of my decisions and I have to say, not a single one has developed into what my mind envisioned. With that in mind I wonder why I still try to envision the end result and I can only come up with one answer: to ensure I don’t take a path that I can only visualize as destructive.

So, if I do this, does everyone else? If each of these situations had almost identical backgrounds: What makes one person choose taking a minimum wage job while another person chooses to steal in order to make a few bucks to live off of? What make one person choose college and another person to choose entering the job market and work their way towards a better career? What makes another person choose to prey on people and live off them conning them into believing they care and love you in order to put a roof over their head and clothes on their back using their verbal viscosity to blind a person into accepting this situation and another person to choose to use their cunning and verbal viscosity to work and be self sufficient? And what makes a person choose a relationship that is abusive and destructive, and another person choose a loving and supportive relationship?

Where was I going with this? Oh yes, back to bravery, our choices and our actions. Bravery to me is seeing the choices before you and instead of taking the easiest choice, you make a choice that involves risk and challenge while your visual acumen allows you to see beyond the immediate hardship and work it will take to get to your target while knowing the resultant target may not end up being exactly what you envisioned it to be and still be willing to give it a try. Firemen do this all the time. They are called to a fire not knowing for certain the exact nature of the fire, or how consuming it is or if people are in danger but they visualize the outcome of saving everyone in danger and hopefully saving as much as possible the structure or object on fire. They know in the end what they visualize will not be exactly the result but they dive in anyway and do what they must do.

Sometimes we loose sight of what bravery really is. There is no doubt that a fireman, or policeman face bravery every time they do their jobs. What I forget and sometimes what I and others don’t realize is that every single person is brave almost every day of their lives. A child is brave sometimes just going to school or raising their hand in class to answer a question or ask a question. A teenager is brave when they face peer pressure and choose to go their own path. An adult is brave sometimes just getting behind the wheel of the car to drive or stepping out of their house to go to work. A parent is brave just being able to let a child make a mistake. Bravery is about facing down our fears and not letting those fears keep us from making the right choices.

Is bravery a choice? I think it is, and I think it is a choice people make every single day.

I read an article today which to my surprise prompted the above thought patterns. What was written so mirrored my own thoughts, that I wanted to share it here and write something about how it reflected my own feelings and desires for the future but instead it took my mind into another thought pattern altogether but in so doing I understand why. What the author of the article challenges us to do is nothing short of bravery. It is easier to walk the path of conformity. To not challenge authority. And to just ride the current where it takes us without thinking about changing trains or boats and jumping off into another current.

I’d like to say I’ll be one of those people who works towards evolution, and I believe I am in certain aspects of my life. I might not think about it every day but I do know every day when I’m with my daughter and training her to live in this world, my only thought is to improve upon her situation from what I grew upon. To teach her to know herself and be compassionate, and yet be tough enough to live through the hard knocks of life. She sees me struggle with my job in the corporate world and she knows already she doesn’t want to be caught up in that struggle. Where that will take her I don’t know but I see her daily bravery and her inquisitive nature and did I mention her amazing intelligence and imagination? She can’t loose with all that behind her. Evolution can’t come soon enough for me but I also understand evolution is a continually ongoing process.

Here’s to bravery, choices and evolution!

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